[ The kiss - it's perfect, sweet, he's finally satisfied when he gets it and Shane sags back into Ilya's arms, letting the drowsiness take him over again now that he has permission. The frightening unknown outside their bed is dulled by how it feels to be inside of it, to have no reason to rush back to the waking world, no reason to untangle themselves from each other quite yet. Nothing like the real world, where Shane always feels like they're being rushed. ]
Okay.
[ But Shane has never been good at falling back to sleep once he's woken up. He's more than content to just lie there, to close his eyes and tell himself he's safe, they're safe, but even Ilya's casually curious hand on his belly can't keep the thoughts from creeping slowly in on him. All the things he learned yesterday. All the things he has to make sure Ilya knows, too. ]
Hey. While we're here. [ And he rolls slowly, a little clumsily, in Ilya's arms until he's facing him. He kisses him again, takes him by the face so tenderly. He drags his nose along Ilya's cheek until he's closer to his ear. He has no idea how he's going to find the right words to do this. ] Can I tell you something? And you promise not to get mad at me?
( For a few minutes, there's blissful silence and Ilya wonders if he's gotten Shane to give in. At the cabin, they'd had early mornings but that had been due to the novelty, the desire to spend as much waking time together as they could once they had the freedom for it in the sunlight. Ilya misses the quiet of the cabin now, the warmth of the sun as he splayed out in the grass in just a pair of swim trunks.
'Promise not to get mad at me?' is a tricky request. Instinctively, Ilya tenses at the words but it's Shane. And they're planning a future together so he tries to stop himself from spiraling into a pit of familiar patterns, throwing his walls up to strike out first before he's hurt. It could be nothing.
He'd very much like for it to be nothing but the other shoe has always dropped for Ilya Rozanov.
He furrows his brows but he's leaning into Shane's hold, relishing the palms on his cheeks and the brush of Shane's nose against his own. His hand slides up Shane's chest but the press of his palm over his left pec is more a gauge of if he can feel the steady beat of his heart instead of an attempt to grope, to pleasure. The points of contact make him more at ease, which means it's-- he wracks his brain for options and lands on one that would upset him. ) Is everything-- Are you hurt?
You haven't promised. [ But he doesn't want to let Ilya start to stress, it's meant to be playful despite the way he can feel his boyfriend tense up, and even though he doesn't get the verbal contract he wanted Shane hurries to tell him what he can. ]
Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I am. But it was a close call. [ Not really for him, but for Rose, but he'll get to that. He has to make Ilya understand the moment - somehow. His heartbeat is steady under Ilya's hand, a little agitated and fluttery but only because Shane finds saying anything important the right way to be very difficult. ] Did you see... in the-- 'dream' thing, that first one we woke up in. Did you see the... thorn guy? The monster they all keep talking about? He was there. And there were these... vines.
[ Man, how stupid can he make this sound? There is no way Ilya is going to follow any of this unless he'd seen the Garden from Hell too because even Shane doesn't sound fully convinced of the story he's telling. ]
There were people getting tangled in them, getting hurt. It was like it was alive and it did get... Rose. She's here, too. For real. [ He'd made sure to check, to find her, all before having this very awkward conversation with Ilya about what he'd done. ]
(Playful is good. It eases some of the furrow but Ilya's still tense enough, still worried. He's about to promise but Shane barrels on and that's better.
Until the mention of a close call. Ilya is pretty sure he didn't see any bruises, any cuts he didn't recognize since they woke up but he cranes his neck back as if to check again. Just in case. He doesn't see anything immediately, feels a coil in his chest loosen. ) The Lord? The asshole who made everyone fight?
( Yes, Ilya had seen him.
Which isn't the biggest part of what Shane says. Ilya's listening, confused for a second before-- ) Your ex, Rose Landry, is here?
( asked flat, not accusatory but Ilya can't help but feel jealousy even if Shane's told him that there's nothing going on. That he and Rose didn't even really work when they were dating. He can't quite keep it from his voice, sighs and shakes his head. Okay.
Shane asked him not to be mad and Ilya can be stupidly jealous but he's not mad. He hopes Shane doesn't call him out on the former as he ducks in to press a kiss to his lips. ) I am not mad at this, Shane. I promise.
[ Yeah, that was the tone Shane was expecting. He rubs at Ilya's chest in the moment of silence after her name is invoked, trying to soothe the both of them through this confession. He sees the same look on Ilya's face now that he had at the cottage by the fire and that has Shane more than a little concerned given what he still has to tell him.
The sigh isn't great, but the kiss is. So far so good, and Shane cups his face to make the kiss linger. ]
Okay. That's good. [ But he worries his lip when they part, hesitating again. ] But I'm not at the part that's going to make you mad yet.
[ So he doesn't know how much that promise is going to be worth in a few seconds. Suddenly it's a whole lot more difficult for Shane to make eye contact and Ilya's chin and collarbone become a lot more interesting. ]
We were getting cut up trying to get her out, but we saw some people kiss to escape and she figured out... that it was mistletoe. Some stupid magic that meant we had to play along with it to... [ It's Shane's turn to sigh because he has no idea how to say this - so he just says it. ] I had to kiss her, Ilya. To get her out. It was the only thing that worked.
[ A very brief flicker of his eyes up at Ilya, holding them for a second so that he knows that Shane is telling him the truth. But it's too hard to hold him like that, too hard to wait for Ilya to decide what to think. So Shane looks away and buries his nose in Ilya's neck, doing the only thing he can think to do: apologize. ]
I'm sorry. I'd have told you sooner, but... I didn't think any of this was fucking real.
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no subject
Date: 2026-03-01 04:37 am (UTC)Okay.
[ But Shane has never been good at falling back to sleep once he's woken up. He's more than content to just lie there, to close his eyes and tell himself he's safe, they're safe, but even Ilya's casually curious hand on his belly can't keep the thoughts from creeping slowly in on him. All the things he learned yesterday. All the things he has to make sure Ilya knows, too. ]
Hey. While we're here. [ And he rolls slowly, a little clumsily, in Ilya's arms until he's facing him. He kisses him again, takes him by the face so tenderly. He drags his nose along Ilya's cheek until he's closer to his ear. He has no idea how he's going to find the right words to do this. ] Can I tell you something? And you promise not to get mad at me?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-01 05:11 am (UTC)'Promise not to get mad at me?' is a tricky request. Instinctively, Ilya tenses at the words but it's Shane. And they're planning a future together so he tries to stop himself from spiraling into a pit of familiar patterns, throwing his walls up to strike out first before he's hurt. It could be nothing.
He'd very much like for it to be nothing but the other shoe has always dropped for Ilya Rozanov.
He furrows his brows but he's leaning into Shane's hold, relishing the palms on his cheeks and the brush of Shane's nose against his own. His hand slides up Shane's chest but the press of his palm over his left pec is more a gauge of if he can feel the steady beat of his heart instead of an attempt to grope, to pleasure. The points of contact make him more at ease, which means it's-- he wracks his brain for options and lands on one that would upset him. ) Is everything-- Are you hurt?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-01 05:37 am (UTC)Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I am. But it was a close call. [ Not really for him, but for Rose, but he'll get to that. He has to make Ilya understand the moment - somehow. His heartbeat is steady under Ilya's hand, a little agitated and fluttery but only because Shane finds saying anything important the right way to be very difficult. ] Did you see... in the-- 'dream' thing, that first one we woke up in. Did you see the... thorn guy? The monster they all keep talking about? He was there. And there were these... vines.
[ Man, how stupid can he make this sound? There is no way Ilya is going to follow any of this unless he'd seen the Garden from Hell too because even Shane doesn't sound fully convinced of the story he's telling. ]
There were people getting tangled in them, getting hurt. It was like it was alive and it did get... Rose. She's here, too. For real. [ He'd made sure to check, to find her, all before having this very awkward conversation with Ilya about what he'd done. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-01 06:10 am (UTC)Until the mention of a close call. Ilya is pretty sure he didn't see any bruises, any cuts he didn't recognize since they woke up but he cranes his neck back as if to check again. Just in case. He doesn't see anything immediately, feels a coil in his chest loosen. ) The Lord? The asshole who made everyone fight?
( Yes, Ilya had seen him.
Which isn't the biggest part of what Shane says. Ilya's listening, confused for a second before-- ) Your ex, Rose Landry, is here?
( asked flat, not accusatory but Ilya can't help but feel jealousy even if Shane's told him that there's nothing going on. That he and Rose didn't even really work when they were dating. He can't quite keep it from his voice, sighs and shakes his head. Okay.
Shane asked him not to be mad and Ilya can be stupidly jealous but he's not mad. He hopes Shane doesn't call him out on the former as he ducks in to press a kiss to his lips. ) I am not mad at this, Shane. I promise.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-03 02:14 am (UTC)The sigh isn't great, but the kiss is. So far so good, and Shane cups his face to make the kiss linger. ]
Okay. That's good. [ But he worries his lip when they part, hesitating again. ] But I'm not at the part that's going to make you mad yet.
[ So he doesn't know how much that promise is going to be worth in a few seconds. Suddenly it's a whole lot more difficult for Shane to make eye contact and Ilya's chin and collarbone become a lot more interesting. ]
We were getting cut up trying to get her out, but we saw some people kiss to escape and she figured out... that it was mistletoe. Some stupid magic that meant we had to play along with it to... [ It's Shane's turn to sigh because he has no idea how to say this - so he just says it. ] I had to kiss her, Ilya. To get her out. It was the only thing that worked.
[ A very brief flicker of his eyes up at Ilya, holding them for a second so that he knows that Shane is telling him the truth. But it's too hard to hold him like that, too hard to wait for Ilya to decide what to think. So Shane looks away and buries his nose in Ilya's neck, doing the only thing he can think to do: apologize. ]
I'm sorry. I'd have told you sooner, but... I didn't think any of this was fucking real.